I feel like a disgusting piece of crap. I haven't felt so fat and unattractive in ... ever. I've gotten to the point where I refuse to step on a scale. What a terrible feeling. I think I feel worse than I should since I've always been a skinny bitch. A skinny bitch who somehow put on more than 20 lbs in the last year. Miraculously, I managed to keep the weight down enough so I can hide it with the right clothes but I'm getting sick of feeling that ring of fat around my midsection whenever I sit down. No matter now much I suppress my hunger, I still feel fat (hey, at least I can recognize a slight eating disorder). No matter how much I run, it doesn't go away. I hear there's a cosmetic surgery clinic that doesn't ask questions when you go for lipo. I actually feel like crying right now.

I hate this time of the fucken month.