So I received an invitation (through Facebook, naturally) for a going away party for a couple of my former roommates/friends. They're from Newfoundland so their wanting to leave my shitty and bland hometown for an even more boring version of it (my hometown is where Newfoundlanders come to die) is beyond me. Wait, or is it the other way around? Actually, they win because they won't have to deal with the influx of fat Portuguese children wandering the streets with a bicycle in one hand and a bun in the other, waiting to replace the one already stuffed into his or her face in Newfoundland.

It's sad to see them go, despite not having seen or talked to them in months but it's their home and I completely understand the yearning for home.

My only qualm with this party is the likelihood of running into my ex at this party. Chances are at 90%. Now, we all know how immature and just how badly I would handle such a situation. So I've come up with a few scenarios to deal:

A) Dress provocatively hot (despite Dave and Allison's parties to be infamously casual or costumed -- and I'm going with the former on this one) and ignore him from the other side of the room.

B) Dress provocatively hot and talk to him like everything is just so spectacular and glam in my life.

C) Dress provocatively hot and ignore him from the other side of the room whilst talking to my (obvious) boyfriend who is provocatively hot himself.

D) Dress provocatively hot and talk to him like everything is just so spectacular and glam in my life and make sure to introduce him to my (obvious) boyfriend who is provocatively hot.

E) Get shit plastered. And dress provocatively hot.

Hmm ... quite a dilemma I am in. Well, we at least know what I am going to do for sure ... get shit plastered. I'm planning on asking my boyfriend to accompany me to this party but know he will turn it down because he is very anti social and hates most kinds of people (most whites, some Asians and all blacks. Hispanic and Natives are alright with him). So C) and D) are out. Or I can just take a page out of womens' magazines when giving advice about similar situations and make the encounter quick and courteous and be sure to always act like a lady.

While dressing provocatively hot, of course.